I’m in my 20s, and I used to stammer in my early school days.
My name is Amber, but most of my friends call me Amby. I’m a 27-year-old guy, a Working Professional, and the best thing is that I am a person who used to stammer.
Maybe you may think that I’m odd, considering “having a stammer is the best thing to happen in someone’s life”.
Growing up, I was a good student in my class. But my speech impediment was one thing that kept me from being ‘perfect’.
It was, however, not until my 8th year of school when everything spiralled out of my control.
I was propelled into speaking situations that I could no longer dodge and in which I had to prove my competence. My confidence took a plunge for the worst and my anxiety compounded with each passing day.
Like many other teens who have a stammer, I experienced lots of dangerous situations, including being laughed at, being in front of the “curious gaze“, and people making fun of me. My past years, starting from school, were a real hell!
Sincerely, and without any exaggeration.
At this point, I needed a miracle.
Stammering is not easy to live with, but it is not impossible.
I think that you are asking yourselves Does he really accepted his stammer completely?.
The answer is No!
I still haven’t accepted it entirely yet, but then a miracle happened.
Stammering is a faulty speech impediment which renders a person incapable of uttering words and letters with fluency. The speech, therefore, becomes incoherent, repetitive and, at times, meaningless.
What makes it worse is a listener’s impatience, lack of interest and mockery.
Imagine a student with a vast amount of knowledge, eager to share their information in a class, only to be met with giggles and mimicry.
The person in question is unable to comprehend the mechanism of their distorted speech. All that he/she wants to say is right in their head, but their vocal cords have left them helpless.
Yet, just a few hours ago, alone in front of the mirror, the words had flowed seamlessly.
One can’t blame kids. Anything unusual, which is seen or heard for the first time, is usually laughed at or derided.
But for the stammerer, this reaction is permanently stored in the memory, only to terrify him/her whenever put under the spotlight, accompanied by a rapid beating of the heart, profuse perspiration and tremors.
Science has not yet discovered the pathology behind stammering hence no cure has been found to date. There is no confirmation whether a genetic predisposition or a traumatic psychological event constitutes the triggering factor.
Stammerers are generally found to have both or, in some cases, it is an idiopathic disorder. It starts in early childhood and continues throughout the lifetime. Once a stammerer, always a stammerer.
Fortunately, there are a few exceptions.
Every stammer has a different way of speech, and the severity varies from person to person.
But the reactions that we receive from our surroundings are more or less the same.
We are typically brushed off with phrases like: “Oh it is only in your head”, or “I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it to me” without them realising that they had to finish our sentence for us or looked away while we were still stuttering.
Just like other stammerers, I was also a target of bullying and would often go through a cycle of negative perceptions, and depression.
Simple things turned into tedious mind-wrecking issues. Few of the concerned people in my life helped me to overcome this. After many attempts, I made progress and started having faith in myself.
My miracle came in the shape of my parents and my teacher Mrs Ganguly who helped me in improving my fluency over words, then sentences, paragraphs, chapters and finally Language. She helped me in focusing on eloquence rather than fluency through breathing techniques.
What culminated by the end of that year was something I had never anticipated.
After having done multiple public speeches in the classroom, activities in the school and thank you speeches to a room full of people, I had come face to face with my fears.
My dreams were unleashed, and I had gained more than I could have ever imagined.
How grateful I am towards Ma’am and my Family cannot be covered even by all the words in the entire language dictionary.
With every tribulation, there is now also ease which wasn’t there before.
With my new way of speech, I was ready to embrace all the challenges that life has to throw my way, and I intend to take them head-on,
Courtesy: Dawn – Blogs; Google.com; Google Images; Stammering Helpline; Stutter Tutorials.